Even though sex seems to be everywhere you look these days, our society still has a huge
sexual shadow. Most young people’s first introduction to sex is porn, which shows lot about
how one type of sex looks from the outside, and doesn’t teach anything about the different
ways it can feel on the inside. Popular media teaches us that only people who look a certain
way are ‘sexy’ and that the sexuality of anyone outside of this narrow prescription of beauty is
either shameful or comical. Societal understandings of the divine feminine have been lost, and
female sexuality has been turned into a commodity used to sell everything from sedans to
hamburgers, while young women are still told that sex is ‘dirty’, ‘sinful’, or not safe.
Exposure to this sex-negative culture impacts our bodies and our sexual functioning leaving
physical, emotional, and spiritual wounds within us. Internalizing misogyny, racism,
hypersexuality, homophobia, and toxic representation of gender not only hurts our soul, but it
can block our sexual expression. Internalized oppression shows up as sexual shutdown,
disconnection from our bodies, and feeling desensitized to pleasure, when an unconscious part
of ourselves makes the decision that it is safer not to feel than to feel anything at all.
Healing society’s sexual shadow means coming back into connection with all the parts of
ourselves that we have been taught to disown. There’s nothing more radical that a woman
loving her body, being in her pleasure, and embodying her erotic energy. Perhaps it’s time for
you to do your part in dismantling the patriarchy by taking up a regular self-pleasure practice!
If you’re interested to learn more about how working with a jade egg can help you wake up
your sexual energy, feel more pleasure, and command your erotic energy, come join me for Jade Magic this February at The Dharma Temple in Vancouver.